Netflix, Cut the SHIT!

By Corey Floyd

Netflix, you have been doing really well for the past few years. You've had some great original series; House of Cards, Orange is the New Black, and a great show with Chelsea, but today I can’t help but notice you have been dropping the ball and letting Hollywood play you for fools. Buying meh movies for big money is a problem. 

If you noticed the cover of this article has a poor done CGI Woody Woodpecker on it. No, its not fan art, sadly it’s one of the streaming services recently added movies. These ten-million-dollar crap jobs are not even good enough to keep kids distracted in my opinion. Not worth the keystrokes to even review. I hope they did spend too much money acquiring this cause it’s not worth it.

The Cloverfield Paradox was Netflix shooting itself in the foot. The other two films in the franchise were mysterious and excellent. They were also great from a business aspect with low budgets but and big profits. This franchise is from Paramount and something went wrong cause they did not want to release it in theaters. Netflix bought it for fifty million dollars and since it costs forty-five million to make so Paramount walks away up five million. Meanwhile Netflix goes “Balls Deep” into a super bowl ad telling viewers it will be available after the game. Ad time during the big game was five million for thirty seconds, and the trailer was a minute long. The film was mediocre. But, in comparison to the other two films, it was an insult. It’s obvious that this was an entirely different film that was changed with re-shoots to make it a Cloverfield movie. It seems like they sold out views for substance.

  

Remember Reboot? CGI show ran from 1994 to 2002 and was way ahead of its time in visuals for a Saturday morning cartoon. When there was talk to reboot I was very excited. Then I saw this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8B5dqjsZUs

What the hell is this? What’s with all the live action crap? The Show was about the world inside the computer and the characters were programs. Now you got what...

sounds like a superhuman samurai cyber squad. Did you see Megabyte? How do we get into the future and make things looks worse?

He looks better in 1994 than he does in 2018. Stop pissing on  my memories Netflix

Maybe I'm just noticing a few flaws maybe it's a fluke. I mean there are still some great originals coming out. Altered Carbon is a great crime Noire in the 30th century and Everything Sucks is hilarious. Plus, I'm still looking forward to the return of other great shows. I just need Netflix to stop messing up. I still haven't forgot what y'all did to Deathnote tho. Stop messing up Netflix.