A SALTY TRUTH REVIEW OF THE LAST SKYWALKER

By Corey "Salty Truth" Floyd

I know I’m late with my review of Skywalker. I had to watch it twice. Then over the last several weeks, I’ve watched every ``STAR WARS” film. I needed to make sure of a few things, and I’ve come to a conclusion. Not only was Rise of Skywalker hot garbage, but the entire trilogy was also horrible.

I’ll give you a moment to trash me in the comment section…

You good?

Cool, now allow me to state why and the entire trilogy was bad.  I mean this trilogy sucked so hard it made the prequel suck a lil less.

It’s pretty obvious that they did not have a plan for these movies. They hired young Spielberg, I mean JJ Abrams, to write and direct the "Force Awakens.” Which isn’t a bad idea on paper. He did recently revive the Star Trek franchise for a new generation, so I can see why they’d want him to do the same thing for a galaxy far far away.

When the force awakens came out I was initially hype, but I started to lose steam thirty minutes into the movie when I realized it was just retelling A New Hope and Kylo Ren was just an angry emo man child.

The  plot in a sentence.

They blow up a bigger “Death Star”,  and Rey is a Jedi who finds Luke the end.

I wasn’t impressed, but I was intrigued about where they would go, and they let me down with flair and panache!

 The “Last Jedi” proves that Kathleen Kennedy had no plan whatsoever. I wanna give Johnson credit for diverting expectations, but there’s a huge difference between falling off the beaded path and going off the rails. This was off the rails... The family guy style humor, the casino side story, the force training & and the killing of Snoke is just a few things that were so jarring I couldn’t enjoy the film. Now the last fifteen minutes were awesome but that does not make a great movie.

Then they brought back Abrams to try and clean up this Sarlac pit of a series, and how does he go about it? Welp, he thoughtlessly bleeds the nostalgia vein to the point that he brought back emperor Palestine from death using …  “Darkside Science” cause they really don’t give an explanation. While they are at it let’s bring back Lando Played by Billy Dee Williams and make sure his reason for being there is just coincidental and only for nostalgia or for people who actually liked SOLO  a Star Wars story ( yes that sucked too ). There’s no sense of pacing to the point that when we thought Rey Killed Chewbacca the audience wasn’t phased.

I love that Wookiee, yet I didn’t even care because it felt like misdirection troupe of  Abrams that got stale very fast. And then, low and behold not even four minutes later we see he’s alive cause another ship that wasn’t even in the shot was the one that got away.

The movies come off like really lazy daytime soaps. If you add how underwhelming Knights of Ren turned out to be, that weird throne room full of SITH ( SHIT) having some sort of dark water pool party, you will struggle to see how this franchise has any positive reviews at all. This Star Wars trilogy was like a game of DnD with a Horrible DM but a great guide book.

These films were so bad it is mentally and physically draining to speak of them so I will bring up two good things about Star Wars in the last five years. Rogue one was the best Star Wars film out of the 5 movies that came out. Here’s my original review https://www.amerimewire.com/2017/01/rogue-one-review-by-corey-floyd.html?m=1 With everything that has come out since this movie has gotten better by default. It did one thing that the other four couldn’t. Tell a whole story, have proper pacing & be funny without trying too hard.

Watching the Mandalorian made me hate "The Rise Of Skywalker!"

Meme aside Jon Favreau ( director of Iron Man 1&2) told several great stories along with an overall great Star Wars show so apparently, there are people out there who can do the work. But Will they ever get the chance? The original directors for Solo were fired and they brought in Ron Howard for a boring heist film with no character development. Honestly, I have no idea what’s in the future for the Star Wars films. I just hope they don’t think they did a good job here. You can make money on a franchise and tell a good story at the same time. You didn’t have to treat your characters like this. Have more respect for what you own. Also, I’d like to see Abrams's cut of the film since apparently, Disney changed the cut without his knowledge. I don’t think it would save, it but it can’t get any worse... can it?

Rise of Skywalker: Final Grade D

New Trilogy: Final grade D  ( Visual effects is main saving grace )